Family and Holidays - Having “the Talk”
We are only a few short weeks away from Christmas and the close of the holiday season and many families are beginning to expect loved ones and relatives from all over to show up on their doorstep - or perhaps planning to travel themselves. Whether you will be enjoying this holiday season with a small, close group, or spreading the holiday joy among a large, extended network, this time of year can bring you closer to the people in your life. And although the holiday season is usually reserved for joy and merriment, this may be the perfect time to have “the Talk” - and yes, I am referring to the conversation surrounding death, incapacity, and estate planning.
As technology continues to advance and contact with relatives and friends shifts more and more towards virtual avenues, we may find that we are seeing each other less and less. There can be less opportunities for important conversations, less chances to discuss the difficult choices and situations that we may be facing in our lives. This is why the holiday season, a time when many families and friends decide to get together, may be the perfect opportunity to breach the topic of estate planning. It’s not a particularly fun conversation to have, especially when the eggnog is flowing and the roast is cooking, and all you want to do is exchange stories and presents, but it’s an important conversation nevertheless. The impact that your estate planning can have will affect not only your lifetime, but also how your assets, your plan, and your decision-making will affect future generations.
A lot of estate planning revolves around the people who are important in our lives. People to act for us during our lives, to step into our shoes if we become incapacitated. People to carry out our wishes. People to work with the professionals in our lives. People to receive and enjoy our wealth after we’re gone. It’s important for your planning to not only have conversations with the people you intend on nominating as representatives, but also to have conversations with those to whom you intend on leaving assets. It is important to know what a beneficiary’s situation entails - are there medical issues to be concerned about, do they have supplemental needs concerns, creditor concerns, spendthrift issues? Answers to these questions can significantly impact the type of planning that you put in place.
Finding the time and the right moment to have this conversation can be difficult, but remember that doing so can protect not only your planning, but ensure that your planning does not go to waste for those beneficiaries. I have provided a few suggestions and topics that can be brought up this holiday season:
Questions for Lifetime Agents
Would you feel comfortable filing my taxes if I was not able?
How would you feel about coming with me to a doctor’s appointment?
Do you feel comfortable balancing a checkbook?
Are there any major events happening in your life that require your full, undivided attention?
Questions for After-death Agents
Do you have any experience working with finances and taxes?
How comfortable are you working with an Attorney, CPA, or Financial Planner?
Can you travel to my home state if I were to pass away?
If so, how long could you stay?
Questions for Beneficiaries
Are you relying on any asset-based government benefits? (Medicaid, SSI, food stamps, housing, etc.)
How are your children doing? Do you have any concerns about their ability to manage money?
Are there any creditors or concerns you would have if you were to receive a lump sum of money?
Every family is different and only you may know the best way to start that conversation. The important thing is that you have “the Talk” so that when you are ready to start your planning, or make updates to an existing plan, you can do so with the best information about your loved ones at your disposal.
